Sexual satisfaction: Learning through experience
Sexual satisfaction is something that grows with each learning experience. Check out this article to learn more!
To remember
👉 It sometimes takes time to experience pleasure.
👉 Stress, fatigue, your mood... These affect your sexual satisfaction.
👉 Explore and take the time to discover what turns you on.
It is entirely possible that your first sexual experiences may not bring you much pleasure, whether you are alone or with someone else. Since every person is unique and our bodies are just as unique, discovering what gives us pleasure can take time. It is by getting to know your own body that you come to understand your pleasure.
And when it comes to sharing an intimate moment with another person, communication is essential to successfully share our pleasure with each other.
What affects my sexual pleasure?
Several elements can influence your sexual satisfaction. Here are a few:
your stress level and nervousness, as these are your first times
fatigue;your mood;
your health status;
medication use (especially antidepressants);
the context in which you experience your intimate moment;
the emotions you feel towards your partne;
if you have never taken the time to discover your own body;
if your partner does something you don't like and you don't dare to tell them;
etc.
If you realize you are uncomfortable or embarrassed, simply expressing it can help reduce the pressure.
What brings pleasure is different for everyone!
Making love is not a race for performance! The important thing is to know your body well, to express to your partner what gives you pleasure, and also to ask them what excites them, so that both of you can experience pleasure! All of this, of course, with respect, without forcing yourselves to do things you don't like.
Psst! Porn is not an instruction manual for sexual relationships. Your body and your partner's body will be your best guides through your experiences.
Sexual satisfaction varies from person to person, and from situation to situation. Some caresses will excite you, but others won't. And for the other person, it might be the opposite. It's up to you to take the time to discover what turns you on through your experiences.
How to know what to do during a non-hetero sexual relationship?
It's possible that you have an idea of what sexual practices you "should" do if you're in a non-hetero relationship. It's normal to want to prepare well before becoming sexually active, but remember that you are never obliged to do something just because others do it, or because that's what you see in movies and series.
Making love can also happen without penetration, without oral sex, without being in a couple, and vice versa. The important thing is to do what we desire, to respect ourselves, and to respect our partner.
Is it normal not to feel pleasure when I try to masturbate?
There isn't just one right way to masturbate. And not everyone likes the same things when it comes to sexuality. For example, some people enjoy vaginal penetration, meaning inserting one or more fingers into their vagina. Others don't particularly like it.
The penis, vagina, and clitoris can also be stimulated in several ways. Fortunately, there are many ways to experience pleasure! Keep in mind that sensations evolve throughout your life. Penetration might not give you pleasure right now, but that can develop, become familiar... or not. And that's perfectly fine!
Pleasure also depends on your state of mind and your sexual arousal. Many young people masturbate because they are curious and want to do what others do, but they don't necessarily feel the urge. Pleasure often comes with arousal, the physical and mental need to relieve tension in the intimate areas.
💡Read our article: I don't like to masturbate
Keep in mind that you are not obliged to masturbate if you don't feel like it. It might come later, or not at all, and it's perfectly fine to wait until your body feels ready for it.
