Why do some people bully others?
Bullying often mixes a lot of things: insecurities, a need for control, pressure from others… Understanding why it happens doesn’t mean excusing it, but it can help you protect yourself (or help someone else).
To remember
👉 People often bully to feel powerful or in control, especially when they feel insecure.
👉 Peer pressure, anger, or stress can fuel bullying, sometimes without realizing how harmful it is.
A way to feel “strong”
Some people bully because they want to feel powerful. When they put someone down, they feel like they’re on top, in control, or “above” others.
This sometimes happens when someone feels fragile inside, even if it doesn’t show: fear of being judged, not being liked, not being cool enough, attractive enough, popular enough, good at school, etc.
💡Bullying can become a way to hide discomfort… by placing it onto someone else. But remember: feeling bad about yourself is not an excuse to hurt others.
Trying to impress others
Bullying can also be a strategy to gain respect (or create fear), especially in a group. Some people really want to be seen as dominant, in charge, or as leaders.
Sometimes they bully because it gives them social points:
people laugh,
people follow along,
people don’t dare to stand up to them.
And even if many people (maybe like you) feel uncomfortable with it, the fear of becoming the next target can stop people from stepping in. That’s understandable—but the problem is that it gives even more power to the person who is bullying.
Poor anger or stress management
Some teens are going through difficult situations (conflict at home, stress, humiliation, rejection, violence, separation, etc.). And sometimes, instead of talking about it or asking for help… they take it out on someone else.
It’s as if their anger needs somewhere to explode.
Unfortunately, their target is often someone who seems more vulnerable: someone more isolated, different from others, or with less support around them. It doesn’t explain everything, but it helps to understand one thing: bullying says more about the person doing it… than the person experiencing it.
A conflict that spirals out of control
Sometimes bullying starts—especially online—as an argument: a jab, a response, revenge… something that escalates.
Each person may feel like they are the victim. And the longer it goes on, the harder it becomes to step back: rumors, hurtful messages, shared screenshots, public humiliation…
The problem is that even if it started small, it can become huge, because everyone can see it, comment, share… and it piles up fast.
“It was just a joke”
Some people bully without thinking of it as bullying. They might say:
“I’m kidding, it’s just for fun.”
“You’re just too sensitive.”
“Everyone does it.”
It can be a way to ease their conscience, as if the word joke makes it less serious. But here’s a good test: if the other person isn’t laughing, if they feel humiliated, trapped, or attacked… it’s not really a joke.
Former victims of bullying
It might sound strange, but yes: someone can be both a victim and a bully. Sometimes a person who has been humiliated or rejected later tries to regain power over someone else. It’s a way of saying: “I don’t want to be the ‘weak one’ anymore, so I’ll make someone else go through it.” That doesn’t make it okay, but it shows that bullying can become a cycle—and breaking it matters.
💡The screen effect. Online, it’s easier to write something harsh than to say it face-to-face. There are fewer immediate reactions: no eye contact, no silence, no sad face right in front of you. And when social media platforms boost content that shocks, angers, or gets strong reactions, it can also encourage attacks or insults—like being intense or aggressive gets more attention. Result: some people cross the line… without realizing the real impact.
