When a teen is in a toxic relationship: how to support them
Learning that your teen might be experiencing violence in a romantic relationship can be upsetting. Yet it’s an important topic to approach with care and openness. Being informed is a first step in better supporting your young person.
To remember
👉 Talking regularly about respect, consent, and healthy relationships helps teens recognize problematic situations.
👉 Staying calm and listening without judgment makes it more likely your teen will seek your support.
In collaboration with Étincelles.
First romantic relationships can be very intense during adolescence. They allow teens to discover themselves and learn how to love… but they can also include hurtful or violent behaviors.
Violence isn’t limited to physical harm. It can take the form of insults, threats, excessive jealousy, control (such as demanding access to a partner’s phone), sexual pressure, or online harassment.
Among young people, some behaviors—like possessiveness or jealousy—can sometimes be seen as signs of love. However, these can actually be warning signs.
Why talk about it?
Teens don’t always have the reference points to distinguish what is healthy from what is not. By talking regularly about respect, consent, and conflict management, you help them better recognize problematic situations.
It doesn’t require a big speech: a spontaneous conversation inspired by something seen in a series, movie, or heard in the news can be enough.
If your teen talks to you about it
If your young person confides in you, it means they trust you. Your reaction matters greatly.
The most important thing is to stay calm, listen, and believe your teen. Avoid minimizing the situation or imposing decisions, even if your instinct is to protect them. Simple phrases like “Thank you for telling me” or “You don’t deserve this” can make a big difference.
You can express your concern while respecting their pace: remind them that you’re there for them, that you want to support them, and that no one deserves to experience violence in a relationship.
A key role
You can’t control your teen’s relationships. But by offering a space for open, judgment-free listening, you increase the chances that they will come to you for help if they need it. And sometimes, simply being present and available is already a powerful gesture.
💡More tips on Sparx, a program that aims to promote positive intimate and romantic relationships and prevent dating violence among high school youth.
