Decoding Jealousy: A Guide for Parents of Teens
If relationships play an essential role in your teen's development, it's crucial to equip them to experience these relationships in a healthy and safe way. Jealousy, often trivialized, can quickly become a red flag.
In collaboration with Sprax.
Jealousy: A Natural Feeling, But Not Always Healthy
Adolescence marks the entry into the world of romantic relationships, a universe rich in emotions and learning experiences. It's normal for your teenager to feel jealous from time to time (just like you, by the way!): it's a human emotion, which can even be healthy if expressed constructively.
However, feelings of jealousy can lead to violent behavior. How to differentiate the two? The line between fleeting jealousy and excessive jealousy is thin.
Recognizing the Warning Signs
Help your teen identify violent behaviors that are neither justifiable nor acceptable:
Excessive control: Their partner wants to know where they are at all times, with whom, and what they are doing. They go through their phone, limit their outings with friends, and try to control how they dress.
Constant questioning: Their partner devalues their friends, passions, and choices. They sow doubt about their intentions and feelings.
Emotional blackmail and threats: Their partner uses the threat of breaking up, revenge, or even self-harm to hold your teen back and get what they want.
Breaking Myths and Encouraging Healthy Communication
Many young people, influenced by the media or their entourage, integrate false ideas about love and jealousy: "If my boyfriend is jealous, it's because he really loves me".
Explain to your teen that:
Jealousy is not proof of love: explain that it is often a sign of lack of confidence in oneself and in the other person.
💡We talk about it in this video.
Communication is essential! Encourage your teen to express their needs and limits clearly and calmly to their partner. If they don't dare to do so for fear of reprisals, this is also a warning sign to be taken into account.
Respect is non-negotiable: Tell your teen clearly that no one has the right to control their life or hurt them, even under the pretext of love.
Jealousy is no excuse! If your teen imposes behaviors on their partner out of jealousy, have a discussion with them so they can manage their feelings in healthier ways. How to do it? Watch the video below!
Being a Resource Parent
Your role as a parent, in the face of jealousy, is to offer a space for listening without judgment and to remind your teen that they deserve a relationship based on trust and mutual respect.
If your teen is experiencing a situation of excessive jealousy or violence, accompany them to professional help resources, such as Tel-jeunes.
For information and tools, visit the Sparx website.
