To remember

👉 It's normal to have fantasies during adolescence; it's part of discovering one's sexuality.

👉 Your fantasies are your own; you are not obliged to share them or to act on them.

During adolescence, your body, hormones, and brain go through major changes. Your imagination develops, and the way you think about sexuality evolves too. As a result, it's completely normal to have erotic thoughts pop into your mind. They can involve places, situations, roles, people, emotions, or all kinds of different scenarios. There isn't a list of "normal" or "abnormal" fantasies.

Having fantasies is common and part of healthy, normal sexuality. Some people have them often, while others rarely do—and both are completely okay. Some people use fantasies to become aroused during masturbation, while others may choose to explore them with a consenting partner. Some fantasies are more about intimacy, feeling desired, or feeling appreciated. Others may revolve around a romantic relationship you wish you could have with someone.

In short, fantasies can serve many different purposes.

Fantasies can help you:

• explore your desires, emotions, or curiosity;

• discover what you're attracted to... and what you're not;

• become sexually aroused, alone or with a partner;

• simply let your imagination run free.

   

Fantasies can be:

• sexual or non-sexual;

• realistic... or completely unlikely;

• created entirely by your imagination;

• acted on... or never acted on.

   

Your fantasies may also change over time. What interests you today might not interest you at all a few months or years from now.

What If My Fantasies Seem Strange?

Some people worry because their fantasies seem unusual, embarrassing, or even shocking. But a fantasy is not a plan or an intention. It's simply a thought, image, scenario, or idea that creates arousal, curiosity, or a particular interest.

Our brains are capable of imagining all kinds of scenarios, sometimes very different from what we'd actually want to experience in real life. In fact, many people fantasize about situations they would never want to act out. Sometimes those fantasies may even seem completely at odds with their deepest values.

So having a fantasy doesn't mean it reflects your values, your identity, or what you truly want to do. Even if a fantasy involves a real person, it doesn't mean you want that situation to happen or that you should act on it. You don't need to search for a hidden meaning behind every fantasy: some reflect genuine desires, while others are simply products of your imagination.

Do I Have to Act Out My Fantasies?

Absolutely not! You're never obligated to talk about your fantasies or make them happen. Many people keep certain fantasies entirely in their imagination, and that's perfectly okay.

If you're thinking about acting on one, take some time to reflect first. Ask yourself:

• Is it realistic and safe?

• Is everyone involved fully consenting?

• Would I genuinely feel comfortable doing it?

• Do I know how to protect myself against STBIs or an unintended pregnancy, if that's relevant?

   

Some fantasies are incredibly exciting in your imagination but may be disappointing in real life. You're allowed to prefer that they remain just that... fantasies.

If a fantasy genuinely makes you uncomfortable, becomes intrusive, or prevents you from feeling well, you can talk about it with someone you trust or a professional (such as Tel-jeunes). You don't have to deal with it alone.