When it comes to lovemaking, you don’t have to try everything
Being in a romantic relationship doesn’t mean you have to do everything to please your partner. There are many ways to be intimate. Find out more in this article.
To remember
👉 No sexual practice is mandatory.
👉 You can agree and then change your mind at any time.
👉 Your partner must respect your choices and preferences - and the same applies to you towards theirs.
You might have heard about things your friends have tried sexually or do with their boyfriend or girlfriend. You might have also watched pornography and seen all sorts of practices. Podcasts talk about it a lot too! Sometimes it's hard to figure out what you might want to do, what you like to do, or what you should do sexually, right?
Rest assured, you're not the only one asking these questions.
Being ready doesn’t mean being ready for everything.
You are not obliged to do everything your boyfriend or girlfriend wants. No sexual practice is mandatory, even if it's the person you love who is asking you.
Caresses, masturbation, kisses, oral love, sex… Intimacy is shared in many different ways. You can say no to things you don’t want, and talk with your partner about what you want to try.
Remember that you can want something… and change your mind just before, or even during! You have the right to refuse or stop a sexual act at any time if you’re not comfortable, if it hurts, or if you don’t like it. There aren’t any bad reasons or insufficient reasons. And if your partner ever asks to slow down to match their pace, it’s important for you to be respectful too. It’s an intimate experience shared by two!
💡 Read our article: Consent is mandatory!
Am I obligated to give a blowjob if I don’t like it?
A blowjob is caressing the penis with the mouth, tongue, and lips. As with all sexual practices, it’s your choice whether or not you want to give a blowjob. You might like it or not, what’s important is to respect yourself and go at your own pace. If you don’t like giving a blowjob or don’t want to, you’re never obligated to do so, and it’s okay to tell your partner. They must respect that. A sexual relationship should remain enjoyable and pleasurable for both of you.
Maybe one day you’ll want to, or maybe not. Even if your partner enjoys this practice, it’s important that you both feel comfortable with what you’re doing. You can find other ways together to have sexual pleasure that suit you both.
Anal sex: should I like it?
Anal sex involves penetrating and stimulating the anus with a finger, a toy, or a penis. Having anal sex, like any other sexual activity, is a matter of taste, desire, and willingness.
The anus is considered an erogenous zone because it is lined with many nerve endings, which is why some people may enjoy stimulation in this area. But it’s wrong to think that everyone enjoys it.
Regardless of your gender identity or sexual orientation, one thing is for sure: anal sex might interest or excite you, or not at all.
It varies a lot for each person whether they like it or not, and it might depend on the context and who you’re with! Everyone has the right to want or not want to explore different sexual practices. It’s your choice and your preferences, and your partner should respect that!
💡 Read our article: Anal sex, sodomy: we tell you everything!
I’d like to have a threesome: what should I know before taking the plunge?
The first thing you need to ensure is that the two other people involved are also interested in a threesome.
Once that's covered, take the time to set some ground rules to know what to expect. For example, what are your limits? What do you feel like doing and with whom? Will it be just a one-time thing? Is a couple involved? If you are in a couple, have you clearly defined your relationship and do you both know your limits during the threesome? You must feel confident and ask yourself the right questions.
A threesome can involve all sorts of emotions and requires discussions. Take the time to think about whether it’s a fantasy you’d like to keep in your head or if it’s an experience you really want to have: either way, in both cases, it’s 100% okay, and you can always change your mind over time.
Finally, keep in mind that no matter what you hear from others around you or online videos, just because others are doing it doesn’t mean you have to. It’s also not because others enjoy certain practices that you are abnormal if you don’t like the same things. We are all different in our sexuality!
