Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is a growing phenomenon among young people. It can sometimes be paralyzing to the point where they feel isolated. But how can you spot the signs that your teen is experiencing cyberbullying, and how can you help them get through it?
In collaboration with PAUSE.
To remember
👉 Cyberbullying is a persistent form of online bullying that can go unnoticed, making parental vigilance essential to identify the signs in adolescents.
👉 Listen to your teen calmly and openly, support them in finding solutions and, if necessary, keep evidence and report the situation to the competent authorities.
What is Cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying is an increasingly common phenomenon among young people. It manifests as hostile, repeated, and intentional behaviors that occur online, whether by text, on social media, in video games, or on forums.
It can take several forms: hateful or threatening messages, identity theft, account hacking, distribution of humiliating photos or videos, or even the creation of content to harm someone. Its objective, conscious or not, is to hurt, humiliate, or threaten a person.
Snowball effect
As it involves online content, neither the victim nor the perpetrator truly has control over the situation, making it difficult to predict the evolution or consequences of the actions taken.
For example, when a young person posts an image online, it can be saved or a screenshot can be taken by others and reused later. Even if the image is removed by the young person shortly after being posted, the damage has been done
Permanence and the impression of anonymity
In the past, bullying was confined to school or the way home: bullying stopped when the young person finally returned home. However, this is no longer the case with cyberbullying. A young person can be bullied right in their bedroom, at any time of the day or night.
The feeling of anonymity and protection offered by the screen can lead some young people to engage in cyberbullying, feeling safe from consequences. Since the other person's reaction is not visible, the one who bullies online is even less aware of the effects of their actions.
This is what is called the screen effect. In this sense, it is not surprising to note that:
14% of high school students reported having experienced cyberbullying in the last 12 months*.
Young people aged 12 to 17 reported experiencing cyberbullying more than people in other age groups*.
Signs of cyberbullying
A young person who is a victim of cyberbullying will not always spontaneously confide in their parents due to fear, shame, or discomfort. It is therefore essential for parents to remain attentive to changes in behavior, mood, or online activities, which could reveal that they are experiencing such a situation.
For example, the teen might:
Refuse to use the computer.
Show apparent signs of nervousness when using it.
Refuse to go to school or be regularly absent from classes.
Become isolated or have very few friends.
These signs, however, could also be symptoms of a completely different issue (heartbreak, conflict between friends, substance abuse problem, etc.) that might also deserve your attention, but not the same discussions or interventions.
💡Need help seeing things more clearly? Do not hesitate to contact the Tel-jeunes Parents team.
How to intervene if my child is experiencing cyberbullying?
If your teen confides in you that they are a victim of cyberbullying, it is important to:
Remain calm.
Take the time to thank them for their trust.
Avoid reacting too strongly to this news by making your child feel guilty for not telling you sooner, or by removing their access to the Internet. Even if the bullying occurs online, screens remain an important part of their social life, as it is there that they can communicate with their friends. Depriving them of access could, on the contrary, increase their isolation.
Adopting an open attitude is reassuring for the young person who fears an excessive intervention from their parents. For example, the parent could listen to their young person tell their story and ask: "How do you feel? How do you want me to help you? What do you think you should do in this situation?" The teen will thus feel that their parent supports them, empowers them, listens to them, without judging them and especially without acting in their place. Even if they may need to be accompanied in more serious cases of cyberbullying.
Assess the situation
The solution does not necessarily involve denunciation, but rather equipping the young person with possible reactions when they are a victim of cyberbullying. In some situations, they may question the importance they give to the messages received.
For example, if someone insults them on a chat platform, could they choose to ignore the messages, leave the environment if they no longer feel comfortable, or even block the person?
The person who bullies usually seeks to provoke a reaction or to demonstrate that they have power. If the young person leaves the digital space concerned, does that person truly retain that power? However, if the young person's safety is threatened, for example in cases of explicit threats, it is essential to report the situation to the competent authorities as well as to the platforms used.
Keep the evidence
If some emails or messages still exist, it is important to print them or save them by, for example, taking a screenshot. The same applies to audio messages. Not deleting them can be useful if you decide to file a police report or initiate civil proceedings. This way, you ensure that you retain evidence, as the cyberbullying perpetrator can delete content at any time.
Report the cyberbullying situation
Firstly, several websites have mechanisms allowing users to report certain abusive situations. Parents can navigate the site to discover these mechanisms, visit the help section, or try to contact the site administrators to learn more about this. When our computer knowledge is more limited, we should not hesitate to ask for help.
Contact the authorities if the situation requires it. At that point, they will be able to tell you if they can take the complaint and initiate actions.
Any cyberbullying situation can also be reported to the school. Although the bullying took place outside its walls, the school remains obliged to provide a safe environment for its students. In the event that the young person fears returning to school because they have been a victim of cyberbullying by another student, the school must act and get involved in resolving the situation.
If the bullying is done by text, it is possible to contact the cellular service provider to check what they can do in such a situation (block the number, change the number, etc.).
Some resources: Cyberaide, NeedHelpNow.
Support your child and follow up
In conclusion, it must be kept in mind that cyberbullying may have impacted our young person, and their self-esteem may have been greatly affected. For this reason, we must remain very present for them, especially after the act of bullying has been reported.
The parent's role is then to support their teen in achieving challenges such as regaining self-confidence, asserting themselves, turning to their friends, or making new ones.
If the situation requires it or if the young person asks for it, we can also ensure that our young person receives follow-up with a professional (e.g., psychologist, social worker, psychoeducator), whether it is a resource available at school or outside of it.
*Quebec Survey on the Health of Secondary School Students 2022-2023.
