How to communicate with my teenager?
Adolescence is a time when young people seek to assert their independence from their parents and to distance themselves from the child they were. It is not always easy for parents to know how to manage communication with their teenager: here are some effective communication techniques to adjust your attitude.
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👉Give yourself time to think before responding to your teenager's requests to avoid hasty decisions.
👉Focus on active listening and understanding your teenager's point of view.
👉Use "I" statements to express your feelings and encourage open dialogue by asking questions.
Knowing how to manage your teenager's requests
Teenagers often tend to make last-minute requests, hoping for a quick response that suits them. In some situations, it is best to avoid giving in to immediate pressure. By taking the time to think, you avoid going back on a hasty decision: "I will give you my answer after dinner", for example, can teach your child that they will not get what they want by pressuring you.
If your teenager objects or argues, offer them two options that are acceptable to you, allowing your child to exercise some control by making a choice.
When a discussion gets heated, know how to pause it; it is better to come back later when calm is restored. Gradually, by giving them more freedom, your teenager will understand that these privileges come, as the saying goes, with more responsibilities.
The keys to effective communication
Communicating with a teenager requires patience and tact. Attentive listening helps you understand the world from your child's point of view and the meaning they give to their experiences.
💡It can't be said enough: with our young people, it's important to listen more than you speak. Teenagers need to feel heard and understood (and generally appreciate lectures and monologues, let's face it!).
To do this, do not hesitate to plan special moments with your child, during which you will both be available and attentive. This will strengthen your relationship and mutual trust.
Speaking in the "I" and bringing facts during your exchanges with your child reduces the feeling of attack ("I am hurt when you talk to me like that" vs. "you are aggressive with me") and encourages discussion. Also, think about asking questions that open up the conversation, for example "What would you say to...? ".
Finally, silences, although they may seem uncomfortable, are important. Respect them, because they can reveal unexpressed emotions. This is where non-verbal communication can come in: a hand on the shoulder, a smile... This can often speak volumes!
