Answering a Question About Sex

Answering your teen’s questions about sex may be unsettling, even uncomfortable. However, you’re generally a lot more equipped to handle the situation than you may initially think. Parents have a variety of options at their disposal when facing their first talk about sex with their child. You can:

• Tell them that their question is valid and that they did the right thing coming to you with it (so they know you’re willing to answer their questions).
• Ask them a question in return, like “what do you know about that?” or ask them what leads them to ask that question to understand what exactly their question is about. You might gain additional insight into what they are wondering about.
• Correct any information they tell you that is incorrect and fill in any blanks as necessary. You can also validate the correct information they already know and share with you (for example, “you’re right!”, “that’s true!” or “you’re smart!”). This way, you can gauge how much your child understands about the topic and be sure not to give them any more information than they need.
• Remember to congratulate them for asking their question. You could even tell them they’re surely not the only one wondering about that at their age.
• If it seems that your child has lots of questions, you can offer them a book about sex. Who knows, it might even help you broach certain topics and find the right words to use!

Keep in Mind

Sex is a Facet of Health

Most teens don’t like to talk about sexual health with their parents. They know they need to protect themselves, but they don’t always know when or how to do so.

What they need to be told is that to use a condom properly, it needs to be worn from the beginning through to the end of sexual contact. As for the pill, it needs to be taken every day at the same time, otherwise it is less effective. One other important thing to know is that people who have sexually transmitted infections don’t exhibit any visible symptoms most of the time.

It’s Not Necessary to Know Everything

You don’t need to know whether your child is sexually active to be supportive. They probably prefer not to talk to you about it unless they need your help. If your teen asks for a doctor’s appointment or to use hormonal birth control (for example, the pill), it is very likely that they feel ready to talk about these topics.

Talking about sexual health can open the door to discussing other aspects of sex and intimate relationships. However, the conversation may be very short. To encourage communication, avoid making your talks interrogation sessions. Remember: as parents, we don’t need to know every detail about our child’s sexuality. Being there for them and answering their questions is often more than enough!