How can I help my friend who has suicidal thoughts?
If you have a friend who is having suicidal thoughts, it can be hard to know what to do to help them. Here you will find some helpful resources so you can offer them support and some information to help you untangle the myths about suicide.
To remember
👉 Listening and support are essential to help a friend in distress.
👉 Don't hesitate to include a trusted adult, even if your friend is reluctant. Professional help should be sought when a person's safety is at stake.
First of all, listen to your friend’s suffering. Reassure him/her by saying that you’re there and you won’t talk about it to just anyone. Nevertheless, suggest including a third person (an adult) in your circle of trust.
You can help choose this trusted adult: a parent, a teacher, a professional from the CLSC, a counsellor from a youth centre, or a counsellor from Tel-jeunes. This adult is trained to help your friend properly and will give him/her another vision of his/her situation.
After that, the best way of helping your friend is to do your usual activities again, while continuing to encourage him/her and show that you appreciate him/her.
Does a person who’s thinking about suicide send signals?
Yes, but these signals can be heard to detect, especially if they’re just hinted at. Listen for these kinds of comments: You’ll be better off without me, I’m scared of what I might do, I can’t go on…There are also actions that may tell you that something’s wrong. Your friend might give away his/her favourite things, isolate himself/herself, show a new interest in guns or drugs, lose interest in everything, be irritable, take strange risks, etc. If you’re worried about what you see or hear, don’t hesitate to ask your friend direct questions. You’ll help your friend a lot by taking the first steps toward confidences.
My friend doesn’t want to see a professional. What should I do?
Your friend probably needs to feel reassured that you won’t abandon him/her by sending him/her to an adult. You can say, “I understand that you don’t want to talk about it, but your secret is too important for us to handle alone without help” or “I won’t let you down. I’ll be there for you, but we need help.” You can also remind your friend of the things you’ve observed about him/her and talk about your anxiety, if he/she tries to play down the situation.
If your friend still refuses to contact a trusted adult, you need to do it yourself. It’s a pain, but it doesn’t really matter if your friend is temporarily pissed off as long as he/she’s safe.
