Key points

• Grief is a normal and natural process that follows a significant loss.

• There is no "normal" length of time for grieving, everyone experiences it differently.

• It is important to express your emotions and not isolate yourself, talk to loved ones or a professional if needed.

• Taking care of yourself is essential (sleep, diet, activities...)

• With time, the pain will fade and give way to memories.

What is grieving?

It’s a normal process that accompanies major losses or separations that leave you devastated (for example, the death of an important person, the end of a romantic relationship, or the loss of a pet).

Grieving means experiencing a range of emotions. It’s important to talk about how you feel and, most of all, don’t isolate yourself.

How long does it last?

The duration and intensity of grieving vary from one person to another and one situation to another.

What’s it like?

Grieving is often accompanied by several emotions such as sadness, confusion, guilt, stress, and anxiety. It’s important to talk about how you feel and not to isolate yourself.

Grieving takes many forms and can last for weeks, months, or years. Everyone experiences it differently, and there are several stages of grieving. When you are grieving, it’s normal for you to want to stay in your own space, but it’s important to continue doing activities you enjoy, to take your mind off things.

It can do you a lot of good to talk about how you feel with people you trust. You can also discuss things with other people who are also experiencing grief. You can support each other. You can also contact Tel-jeunes if you want to talk.

The stages of grieving

1. Shock and denial

At this stage, you’re in a state of shock and you find it hard to believe it’s true and accept what has happened. Some people may be unable to react or to feel emotions. It’s as if they were “paralyzed.” Other people may cry or feel nostalgic or irritable.

2. Disorganization

At this stage, you may feel a lot of anger, frustration, sense of injustice, and inability to understand. You may also feel sad, anxious, tense, agitated, or demotivated. You might also engage in unusual behaviour. You might tend to displace your anger onto your friends or family. Being angry is normal. On the other hand, verbal or physical aggression is not an acceptable way of expressing your anger. Talking about it or weeping with rage are acceptable.

3. Resolution of grief

At this stage, you accept the loss. By accepting it, you are able to keep your good memories – and also the not-so-good ones. You start to have more confidence in yourself, you feel better, and the future doesn’t look as dark as before. You have new dreams; you’re able to enjoy yourself. You feel that this test could make you stronger.

One thing is certain: you need to give yourself time to overcome your grief. This can take weeks, months, or even years. With time, the pain will ease and you’ll only keep your memories of the lost person or animal, without the sad, painful emotion you had right after the loss.

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