My teenager is thinking about suicide, what should I do?
Adolescence is a difficult time for teens, and they can suffer greatly, which sometimes leads to suicidal thoughts. How can we recognize if our teen is in distress, and what should we do if they are thinking about suicide?
To remember
👉 Assess the risk of acting out. If you identify an imminent risk of acting out, immediately call 911 or go to the emergency room.
👉 Tell your teenager that you love them and that you are there to help them. Encourage them to speak to a mental health professional.
👉 This situation is difficult for you too, do not hesitate to ask for help and support.
If you believe your young person might be thinking about suicide, you can ask them directly if that's the case and express your concerns. Addressing this subject head-on allows the suffering young person to feel understood and considered. This is a very important first step.
Assess the level of urgency
In this type of situation, it is always preferable to turn to a professional. Indeed, it is difficult to remain neutral as a parent. Keep in mind that certain questions can help you assess the urgency of the situation.
This involves directly asking the young person if they are thinking about suicide. If the answer is yes, we then ask if they have thought about when they might do it, by what means, and where. It is also about evaluating other elements that could trigger an act. For example:
Is my young person alone?
Are they impulsive?
Have they ever tried to end their life before?
Are they desperate?
Are they under the influence of substances or do they have a drug or alcohol problem?
It's an emergency
If your teenager has answers to questions concerning the place and manner in which they intend to commit suicide and plans to do so within 48 hours, it is a suicidal emergency that requires urgent care. We can then call 911 or take them to the hospital and, if possible, remove the means by which the young person could commit suicide. The goal is to remove our young person from danger and buy time so that they can change their thoughts and thus avert a potential immediate act.
In some cases where our young person might be thinking about suicide without necessarily specifying the time, means, or place, we might still choose to take them to the emergency room if they present one or more elements that could trigger an act.
To measure the young person's impulsivity, one can ask them on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being not at all impulsive and 10 being totally impulsive) where they stand in terms of their ability to control their urge to commit suicide.
It's not an emergency
In other cases, for example, if our young person is thinking about suicide but does not have a precise plan, if they know when and where they would commit suicide but would do so in more than two days and do not present other elements that could trigger an act, we can offer them consultation and talk to them about the importance of not staying alone with their suffering.
For example, a teenager in this situation could meet with a school counselor, go to the CLSC (local community service center) and tell the person at the reception that they have suicidal thoughts to be able to meet someone. They could also consult a psychologist in private practice.
Express your concerns to your teenager
In all situations, it is advisable to tell our young person that we are worried about them, that we love them, that we are ready to help and support them in their search for solutions to feel better, and that we want them to live. We can then mention an activity that we want to do with them for a long time. We can also welcome our young person in their suffering, invite them to name their emotions, and accept them without judgment.
Knowing that their teenager is thinking about suicide can be very challenging and difficult for a parent to experience. In such a context, it is important to seek parental support, not to remain alone with feelings of sadness, anger, or despair. Do not hesitate to speak to the counselors at Tel-jeunes Parents.
The suicide of your teenager's friend
The suicide of a close friend often leads your young person to experience grief, question suicide, and feel guilt. They will need your support, listening, and acceptance even more:
Listen to your young person and give them the necessary space to verbalize their emotions at their own pace.
Normalize the emotions they are experiencing.
Invite your teenager to find actions within their reach that could help them regain a sense of control and thus help them feel better.
Stay alert to symptoms of trauma and any sudden changes in your young person that would lead you to believe professional help would be appropriate.
